Strong Willed

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:11)

As a mother, one of my greatest worries in bringing up my girls is the constant concern I have of trying to discipline them without hurting their spirit.  For those of you who know Kinley, I’ve always labeled her personality as “strong willed.” Well, most of us would label our children in that category right? OK, maybe just a few of us…  I was listening to one of my favorite child psychologist Dr. Ray Guarendi. He is a father of 10, clinical psychologist, author, and public speaker and radio host. He really set a few things straight in my uneasiness when it comes to disciplining my sweet KinleyJ

First he said, we need to keep in mind that we are all sinful in nature because of original sin. This nature creates an automatic bent will that leads to rebelliousness. In other words, it’s a natural battle we will have with our children.  I don’t know about you, but that in itself gives me great comfort!  There are obviously deeper areas involved in shaping the hearts of our children but, it’s reassuring to know there is a way to direct the behavior of my child without feeling the guilt of hurting her spirit.

The ultimate message I a came away with was that it’s not the discipline that breaks the child’s spirit, it's the arguing, nagging, yelling, screaming, negotiating, and frustration that ultimately puts stress on the relationship. If I’m responding with discipline without the nastiness, I’m on the first steps in creating a loving environment for healthy growth in my child.  If I make my discipline strong and firm without all the clutter I can be a better more effective mother. Wow, what a great nugget of information I can add to my parenting plan!

There is also a wonderful book that I reference back to for direction in this area called, "Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp." This book is written for parents with children of any age and there are amazing procedures that are given on how to shepherd the heart of our children from a biblical perspective.  It’s GREAT! 

I am pretty far from the parent I strive to be, but little by little I’m learning that I’m not always going to get it right the first time around. Mothering is definitely an art that takes lots and lots of practice and patience... Eventually I might get it right a few times along the wayJ 

Love is Patient at all times...

 "Never utter in your neighbor's absence what you would not say in their presence." St. Mary Magdalene of Pazzi

Ouch!!!  How well do I heed this wise advice?  This is one of the golden rules right?  So why is it so difficult some times to avoid falling into this gossip trap?  So often times we forget how delicate our words are to the people in our lives.  I have been the victim of rumors and sadly also the guilty party. It's a tough road to avoid when you are in the middle of it and very hurtful when you hear the after effects of it.

As I take a look into my own personal struggle with this problem, I must also take a deeper look at my relationship with my loving father.  Everyone knows that loving one another is of God.  Whenever I get caught up in this type of chitchat, I also find that many times it’s my own pride and ego that gets in the way of God’s truth.  When I can bring myself to recognizing this truth, thankfully, that's when humility steps in...

No one has ever seen God.  Yet if we love one another, God remains in us, and his love is brought to perfection in us.  This is how we know that we remain in him and him in us.  That he has given us his spirit. When I catch myself in hearsay, I must remember to always remain in his love and he will perfect my ways. It’s a tough act to follow, and it’s one with great challenge but as the famous verse in scripture says, 1 John 4:19 “We love because he first loved us.”

Whoever walks dishonestly reveals secrets.  But whoever is of a faithful soul conceals what is confided by a friend. Proverbs 11:13

Finding Courage

Falling into a place where two seas met, they ran the ship aground; and the forepart stuck fast, and remained unmovable, but the hinder part was broken with  the violence of the waves. Acts 27:41

As I was reading my devotion today, in Acts 27:33-34 it talks about Paul finding courage in the stormy sea.  It's pretty amazing how God always finds the perfect way to speak to me through scripture!

We're going on our fourth day without air conditioning!!!  It's the hottest time of the year in Texas right now and I feel like Paul the apostle.  It's like I've been thrusted into this violent wave not knowing when the winds will calm.  It's definitely eye opening to realize how much I take for granted these "things" in my life... Just like many unexpected turns in my life, I do know that one thing is constant, I have a wise and powerful guide that will help me through these stormy trials.  If I put my trust in Him, he will get me through this and lead me to calmer waters.

Thankfully as I was telling my cousin today, we have a God who knows exactly what we need in our time of struggle.  The God to whom we belong, has brought two amazing people into our lives that have taken our family into their home for a breath of cool air. (You will notice above a sweet picture taken as Bailey warms up to Mr. Rey)  as the old saying goes, "a smooth sea never makes a good sailor"

Father, I know you've never promised that the sea would always be calm.  But you are present and steadfast when my little boat jostles in the waves of life. Please help me to always be mindful of your protecting hand. 

Psalm 57:2 "I cry to God the most high, to God who fulfills his purpose for me"

If you give a mom a muffin

I've always loved this poem.  We all can relate to the chaos that comes with one cup of coffee. We are NOT crazy, we just have kids...

If you give a mom a muffin,
She'll want a cup of coffee to go with it.
So she'll pour herself some.
The coffee will get spilled by her three year old.
She'll wipe it up.

Wiping the floor, she will find some dirty socks.
She'll remember she has to do some laundry.
When she puts the laundry in the washer,
She'll trip over some snow boots and bump into the freezer.
Bumping into the freezer will remind her she has to plan supper for tonight.

She will get out a pound of hamburger.
She'll look for her cookbook. (101 Things To Make With a Pound of
Hamburger.)
The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail.
She will see the phone bill which is due tomorrow.
She will look for the checkbook.

The checkbook is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two year old.
She'll smell something funny.
She'll change the two year old.
While she is changing the two year old the phone will ring. (Of course!)
Her five year old will answer it and hang up.

She remembers that she wants to phone a friend to come over for coffee on
Friday.
Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup.
She will pour herself some.
And chances are,
If she has a cup of coffee,
Her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.

Written by Kathy Fictorie

Lead Me

"Search me, O God, and know my heart;  Try me... and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23

So often times we get caught up in the crazyness of our life and kids, we forget what is most important to the life of our marriage.  Everytime I hear this song on the radio, it makes me think of Russell and how important he is to the life of our family.  I read  a great method to use in a book written by Annie Chapman on how we should pray for our husbands.  She says, we need to use the HELP method...we should pray for his head, endeavors, love of God, others, and physical health.

Head: that his thoughts will be controlled by and line up with the Word of God.
Endeavors:  That he will prosper and find purpose for that of which God has called him to accomplish.
Love: that his love for the lord and others grow stronger.
Physical Health: that his body, which is the temple of the Holy Spirit will be healthy, able and free from disease.

A Father's Love

Brothers, I for my part do not consider myself to have taken possession. Just one thing: forgetting what lies behind but straining forward to what lies ahead, continue my pursuit toward the goal, the prize of God's upward calling, in Christ Jesus. Let us, then, who are "perfectly mature" adopt this attitude. And if you have a different attitude, this too God will reveal to you. Philippians 3:13-15

I saw this posted on facebook by a friend.  What an amazing video with so much truth!!! To Win the Prize I've got to run the race...I HOPE at the end of my life when I reach the "The pearly gates," God will look at me and say, "well done my good and faithful servant well done......."

All Things Working Together?

We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).

God always works for my good?  Sometimes it's hard to believe.  At other times I've found this belief to be a beautiful thing.  As I'm going through this difficult time, I find strength in the fact that God is working in my life and I know his ways are beyond my understanding.  I also know bad things happen to God's people, for He has allowed human will much freedom until Christ returns.  But, I know that as I seek God's guidance during this time, He will oversee my world, moment by moment. I will continue to be strengthened by this scripture and know that his blessings are abundant in my life.  YES, this too shall pass....

Thank you, dear God, for being who you are, working on my behalf in little things as well as in big things.  In Christ's name I pray. Amen

If Ever You Worshipped

this is a beautiful video!!!! 

Quit Compairing!

2 Corinthians10:12 says, "For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But we measure ourselves by ourselves, and we compare ourselves with ourselves."

Kinley has been going to gymnastics for over a year and a half.  Yesterday, as we were getting ready for her class, she told me she didn’t want to go.  As I was trying to get to the bottom of why she all of a sudden wanted to quit, she finally told me she wasn’t as good as some of the other kids in her class.  Wow, I was a little taken back by her answer because I’ve always felt she was great ( I know I’m her mother but…) she always seemed pretty excited about going.  Then I got to thinking, since when did she start comparing herself to other children her age?

Just like Kinley, in our culture a lot of times people advise us to compare ourselves with others. “You can win, the others aren’t near as good as you”, “It’s beyond me; I’ll never be as good as they are. Besides, does it really matter?” or, “I’m not ever going to compare to what she’s doing…”etc., we all do it.  We all compare ourselves to someone and come up short in our own eyes.  And then we are discouraged. 

Unfortunately, this is the plan of the enemy: that we intimidate one another and drive one another into defeatism.  There have been many occasions I do nothing because my own pessimistic attitude gets the best of me.

Thankfully, God never gives up that easily.  His plan is that we inspire and encourage each other to perfection.  In the body of Christ, we are not meant to compare or compete, but to compliment each other.  “There are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit” (1 Corinthians 12:4).  “The body does not consist of one member but of many” (verse 14).  The Lord has equipped every one of us with spiritual gifts and he distributes them as He sees fit. Just because I am the eye in the body, and I don’t have the same function as the Foot, doesn’t mean I need to give up.  The Truth is… the foot would not be directed without the eye. There should be no division in the body and we should all have concern for everyone else. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, then every part rejoices with it. We are all appointed by God for a specific role and we are all too eagerly desire the greater gifts.

Although Kinley has many more years of nurturing to learn her beautiful talents that Christ has given her, it’s made me realize that instead of looking to the world for standards, I’ve got to continue to find my own unique plan in my life.  God has called each of us to our own mission and, no one’s mission is exactly like anyone else’s.  We have been called to write our own story and when we cooperate with him in the authorship, those stories are more beautiful than any we’ve ever read or anything that could ever compare. So, for today, I will try to surround myself with only things that encourage me, educate me, and build me up so that I can build his kingdom on earth.

“What you are is God’s gift to you;

What you do with yourself is your gift to God.”

Danish proverb