Transforming Love

Isn’t Love interesting? We spend our lives searching for deeper relationships with the ones we love and as soon as it gets uncomfortable we run from it. Ok, maybe that’s just how I seem to handle relationships in my life sometimes? It’s one of my areas of weakness.

I think in any relationship with someone you truly care about there is a level of vulnerability. But to be vulnerable comes at a huge cost. Building deep relationships has been a struggle for me. I’ve grown accustom to constructing walls around my heart because the hurtful actions by a few people I valued in my life. Because of this, I subconsciously think the deeper someone gets to me; the more they could potentially hurt me. Sadly, my immediate reaction is to preserve and protect.

I know that in any true relationship there comes a cost. I’m learning if I want any relationship to grow I need to allow myself to be open and vulnerable. This is a very scary thing. The deeper someone gets, the more they could potentially hurt me.

I have fallen into believing a lot of lies.

Jesus' love changed a lot of people. In the bible, Paul turned from a heartless persecutor of Christians to a self -sacrificing missionary. Zaccheus was transformed from a shrewd, greedy taker of money to a selfless giver. One of the most amazing transformations happens when Jesus meets a woman who is Samaritan and hated by the Jews. She went through five husbands and was living with a man she was not married to. Jesus talks with her, which amazes her. The Lord doesn't judge her. Instead, He offers her salvation.

I’m learning to see a beautiful aspect to the pain and hurt I’ve had in my life. I’m given hope that it’s possible to let it go and learn to be more vulnerable with the ones I love. Please hear me say that this is a journey for me.  I am FAR from conquering this area of my life, but if God is only good (and I believe He is) then he will use all circumstances for my good to accomplish His purposes. Love means that opening myself up, even if it means my heart is crushed. That’s what makes me stronger.