Birthday Girls!

Six years ago was the most amazing day of my life, my sweet Kinley came into the world. Equally three years ago was another amazing day, my sweet Bailey was born (two weeks early).  God works amazing miricles and I'm glad He chose me to be their mother.

Happy Birthday my sweet angels!

Transforming Love

Isn’t Love interesting? We spend our lives searching for deeper relationships with the ones we love and as soon as it gets uncomfortable we run from it. Ok, maybe that’s just how I seem to handle relationships in my life sometimes? It’s one of my areas of weakness.

I think in any relationship with someone you truly care about there is a level of vulnerability. But to be vulnerable comes at a huge cost. Building deep relationships has been a struggle for me. I’ve grown accustom to constructing walls around my heart because the hurtful actions by a few people I valued in my life. Because of this, I subconsciously think the deeper someone gets to me; the more they could potentially hurt me. Sadly, my immediate reaction is to preserve and protect.

I know that in any true relationship there comes a cost. I’m learning if I want any relationship to grow I need to allow myself to be open and vulnerable. This is a very scary thing. The deeper someone gets, the more they could potentially hurt me.

I have fallen into believing a lot of lies.

Jesus' love changed a lot of people. In the bible, Paul turned from a heartless persecutor of Christians to a self -sacrificing missionary. Zaccheus was transformed from a shrewd, greedy taker of money to a selfless giver. One of the most amazing transformations happens when Jesus meets a woman who is Samaritan and hated by the Jews. She went through five husbands and was living with a man she was not married to. Jesus talks with her, which amazes her. The Lord doesn't judge her. Instead, He offers her salvation.

I’m learning to see a beautiful aspect to the pain and hurt I’ve had in my life. I’m given hope that it’s possible to let it go and learn to be more vulnerable with the ones I love. Please hear me say that this is a journey for me.  I am FAR from conquering this area of my life, but if God is only good (and I believe He is) then he will use all circumstances for my good to accomplish His purposes. Love means that opening myself up, even if it means my heart is crushed. That’s what makes me stronger.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday my perfect little man.  I love you more than you will ever know.

Road Trip!

We took the kiddos to the G.W. Exotic Animal Park in Oklahoma this past weekend and had the best time.

Russell and I agreed this was by far one of the best zoo's we've been to.  What made this park unique are the memorials that serve as a place for others to remember loved ones they’ve lost. Each animal in the park represents a human who has passed away. Their mission is to provide lifelong homes for abandoned, misplaced and abused animals, as well as those whose owners can no longer care for them. 

They had some pretty amazing baby lions, tigers, and bears.

We decided to take a personal tour through the park and met Cletus the kissing Camel.  Colson thought this was pretty funny.

We had the opportunity to play with this one month old tiger.  She was so sweet and playful, the girls and I wanted to take her home with us.

We were in luck, we got to see a two week old baby bear.  They had him sleeping in a baby bed.  The park director has both the tiger and bear staying in one of their rooms in their house so he can feed them until they are old enough to take care of themselves. 

I'm not sure who had more fun, the kiddos or Russell and I. Check out their website!http://www.gwpark.org/index.php

The Heart of My Grandmother

December 1999

As a child, there were few things more exciting than visiting my grandmother’s house. During our visit to Midland a few weeks ago, I drove by my grandmother’s old house. When I look back on my childhood a number of funny and random memories hide in my mind. I remember her house always having a beautiful yellow front porch with overgrown flowers lining the whole front of the house. The house sits a block away from the Catholic Church where we spent most of our Sunday mornings growing up. The visits during my younger days were always fun. It was a happy and safe place. This was also the home where my mom and her three brothers and sister grew up and where eventually both of my grandparents passed away.

There are certain people from our childhood that seem to stick with us with unusual impact throughout life. For many reasons, my grandmother has been one of those in my life. I think about her often and I feel her presence in my life even today. She was a beautiful Godly woman who devoted her life to her husband and family. There was a sense of peace and joy about her that now looking back I can only say could come from having a deep personal relationship with Christ.

She enjoyed sharing stories about my grandfather and I knew without a doubt she loved her life. She had a stubborn and silly side to her that helped me get through my parents divorce which was one of the toughest times in my life. She somehow knew my anger and disappointments concerning the divorce ran deep and she had a gentle way of speaking truth into my heart.

She taught me that love is not just a mindless feeling that rides on waves of emotions. But lasting love is one that preservers through some of the hardest trials in life. (And she had her fair share of those). I watched her hope in Christ sustain her after the loss of her husband and the tragic death of her youngest grandson. I saw her suffer the physical pains of getting old and we joked about her silly looking orthopedic shoes. She completed her race in this life with so much grace and dignity.

My grandmother is someone who I truly admire because of her devout commitment to God and selfless devotion to her family. She inspires me to strive to be a better wife, a better mother and a better follower of Christ. She was my earth angel. 

Writing this on my heart

Unforgettable moments.

This is the cutest thing she does.  We can't help but giggle when she says the blessing. 

"God is great, God is good, let us thank him for our food. Amen"

My Funny Valentine

 XOXOXOXOX

Late night...

It's three o'clock in the morning and I can't sleep. What better time to update my blog right? I'll be regretting this in the morning at 6:30 when Bailey is crying she's hungry and I'm having to peel myself out of bed.  We finally made it back to Midland last weekend. We decided to fly instead of making the 6 hour drive.  It's a lot harder to make those trips with three little ones so we don't do it near as often as we did.  When we do, I feel like we never really get enough time with our family.  Then I come back feeling depressed and drained because someone's feelings are always hurt for not spending enough time with them.  I keep saying they could have us all to ourselves if they made it down our way.  But I must remind myself what's important to me isn't always important to them.  I've got to let it go... The sad reality of living in a different town means taking more time and effort to be involved in our lives. Moving my issues aside, we had a wonderful time and celebrated some great memories!

This is Russell's grandparents, Gran and Grandad . We ALWAYS stay with them when we go home and love the time we spend with them.  They fill our buckets, love on our kiddos and make Russell and I feel so welcomed in their home.  Once the kiddos go down for bed, Gran will fix us a glass of wine and Grandad will make a strong drink for the two of them.  We sit back and visit till sometimes the wee hours in the morning.  It's been a good 6 months since our last visit so we shared some wonderful late nights catching up on things.  While we were there they celebrated their 58th anniversary WOW!!!  I asked Gran what the secret was to a successful marriage and she told me to let go of the petty things and have something you can both enjoy together. 

In July my brother found out he had a daughter.  It's a long story but I have been so eager to meet her and finally had the chance.  This is a picture of my dad, grandmother and two nieces.  We had a wonderful evening celebrating our little family reunion. 

 My niece Kendra and Brenna. 

Last week Kinley also celebrated her 100th day of kindergarten. It's been a pretty tough road and I felt the need to celebrate.   I almost deleted this picture with Kinley and her teacher.  How funny, I can't spell?  I got my degree in communications not English...

 This weekend Kinley and Russell went to their first Father Daughter dance.  Sniff, sniff, don't they both look adorable!

I just can't take it anymore!

This week Bailey has decided to turn over a new leaf (or better yet, a whole tree) and be completely independent by doing everything her way. I guess the terrible twos are raising its ugly head around here.  Her desire to repeat everything at least twenty-times is making me seriously Looney.  I truly believe anyone who can cope with this age has the ability to cope with anything in life.  Thankfully when I'm the most annoyed she does something to make me laugh and remind me why I love my job.

 Yes my friends there's a wild side to EVERY innocent two year old face!

Business Brief

I used to want it all now I just want to pee alone.  I watched this video with my girls the other night and for minutes I became the star in their world.  If you would have told that woman in this video she would be a stay at home mom with three kiddos, she would have laughed hysterically in your face. God sure had different plans... 

The Fabric Of My Life

A few of us mommies took our girls to see Beauty and the Beast in 3D Friday night. This Walt Disney movie was one of my favorites as a little girl and adding the 3D to the mix made it even better. I think it’s safe to say that by the end of the night the girls had us moms laughing so hard. We had a blast watching them giggle and carry on in their silly carefree conversations with one another. They were such a hoot to be around.

I really like the times when it's just the two of us together. I know Kinley longs for the feeling of being best-loved and most beautiful and specially prized (or at least some of the time). And sometimes I forget how important it is to have that individual time together to nurture our relationship. 

I believe deep down, we all hunger for individual attention no matter what age we are. Friends need time alone together and so do husbands and wives. This year I’m going to make it a point to spend more time alone with the people I love.

You are a beautiful little girl Kinley.  I want you to know that no matter what, you will have my love forever. 

9 Months!

I took Colson to his 9 month check-up appointment this week. My sweet cuddle buddy has grown so much, these appointments always remind me just how fast the time goes.  His exam went great and despite the enduring pain of two shots, he bounced back pretty quickly. I pray he continues to have this kind of resilience as he grows up in this life. 

  

 Isn't he the perfect little arrangement of atoms?  

 

Wrapping up the Holiday

The holiday season around our house is pretty crazy.  Russell works in the retail environment and because of that, we don't see much of him.  So I'm always a bit more excited after Christmas because we get to have him back!  So last week, we finally had some time to wrap up the holiday season together at one of our favorite spots! We shared a wonderful day with some dear friends and their boys and went to the Gaylord Texan's popular Ice.  The hilarious theme this year featured Dream Works' Shrek the Halls.  We had a great time and shared some wonderful memories together.  If your in the area you should really check it out next year!