A special day of love

As we near the end of Lent and my whining ends about giving up Starbucks and face book and begin to get excited about having this all back on Sunday, I'm reminded how this sacrifice I made was minuscule compared to what Jesus did for us. I have no idea what a sacrifice it really was for Jesus to take our place on the cross.

As I ponder today, on how great His love for me as He was once fixed to the cross in every part of his body, so He may now be fixed in every part of my soul.

For the last 40 days I've reflected on the life of Jesus and what he went through. I’ve imagined had it been me...I never could have made it all the way to the cross. He was alone - all his disciples had deserted him except for his mother and three women along with John, the beloved disciple.

His death was agonizing and humiliating. If it would have been me, I would have called the whole thing off the first time Peter said he didn’t know me. I couldn’t have borne Judas’ betrayal, couldn’t have stood still for his kiss. I would have jumped off the cross long before a sword pierced my side, long before “It is finished!”

There is no greater proof of God’s love for us than the willing sacrifice of his son on the cross. Jesus bowed his head and gave up his spirit knowing that the strife was now over and the battle was won. Even on the cross Jesus knew the joy and victory. But the real suffering on the cross was when the Father turned away from the Son and strapped our sin on Jesus’ back and inflicted the punishment that sin deserves and we’ll never know.

He could have jumped off that cross, but didn’t. Instead He begged God for us. He breathed, “Forgive them.” This act bridged the gap our sin put between us and God. He stayed on the cross until dead – making resurrection possible. He never turned back but instead said to His father “Not my will, but yours be done.” He boar the suffering and endured the shame and paid the price and defeated it all – to the end of glory so that we all may have life eternal.

Transforming Love

Isn’t Love interesting? We spend our lives searching for deeper relationships with the ones we love and as soon as it gets uncomfortable we run from it. Ok, maybe that’s just how I seem to handle relationships in my life sometimes? It’s one of my areas of weakness.

I think in any relationship with someone you truly care about there is a level of vulnerability. But to be vulnerable comes at a huge cost. Building deep relationships has been a struggle for me. I’ve grown accustom to constructing walls around my heart because the hurtful actions by a few people I valued in my life. Because of this, I subconsciously think the deeper someone gets to me; the more they could potentially hurt me. Sadly, my immediate reaction is to preserve and protect.

I know that in any true relationship there comes a cost. I’m learning if I want any relationship to grow I need to allow myself to be open and vulnerable. This is a very scary thing. The deeper someone gets, the more they could potentially hurt me.

I have fallen into believing a lot of lies.

Jesus' love changed a lot of people. In the bible, Paul turned from a heartless persecutor of Christians to a self -sacrificing missionary. Zaccheus was transformed from a shrewd, greedy taker of money to a selfless giver. One of the most amazing transformations happens when Jesus meets a woman who is Samaritan and hated by the Jews. She went through five husbands and was living with a man she was not married to. Jesus talks with her, which amazes her. The Lord doesn't judge her. Instead, He offers her salvation.

I’m learning to see a beautiful aspect to the pain and hurt I’ve had in my life. I’m given hope that it’s possible to let it go and learn to be more vulnerable with the ones I love. Please hear me say that this is a journey for me.  I am FAR from conquering this area of my life, but if God is only good (and I believe He is) then he will use all circumstances for my good to accomplish His purposes. Love means that opening myself up, even if it means my heart is crushed. That’s what makes me stronger.

My Funny Valentine

 XOXOXOXOX

Love is Patient at all times...

 "Never utter in your neighbor's absence what you would not say in their presence." St. Mary Magdalene of Pazzi

Ouch!!!  How well do I heed this wise advice?  This is one of the golden rules right?  So why is it so difficult some times to avoid falling into this gossip trap?  So often times we forget how delicate our words are to the people in our lives.  I have been the victim of rumors and sadly also the guilty party. It's a tough road to avoid when you are in the middle of it and very hurtful when you hear the after effects of it.

As I take a look into my own personal struggle with this problem, I must also take a deeper look at my relationship with my loving father.  Everyone knows that loving one another is of God.  Whenever I get caught up in this type of chitchat, I also find that many times it’s my own pride and ego that gets in the way of God’s truth.  When I can bring myself to recognizing this truth, thankfully, that's when humility steps in...

No one has ever seen God.  Yet if we love one another, God remains in us, and his love is brought to perfection in us.  This is how we know that we remain in him and him in us.  That he has given us his spirit. When I catch myself in hearsay, I must remember to always remain in his love and he will perfect my ways. It’s a tough act to follow, and it’s one with great challenge but as the famous verse in scripture says, 1 John 4:19 “We love because he first loved us.”

Whoever walks dishonestly reveals secrets.  But whoever is of a faithful soul conceals what is confided by a friend. Proverbs 11:13

Love you Forever

Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:8

I just finished reading Kinley the famous book, I love you forever. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s the tale of the mother who rocked her baby and sang about how much she loved him. The story continues as the baby grows and she rocks her two-year-old and her nine-year-old and her teenager. Finally, she drives to her grown son’s house and when he is asleep, she creeps into his room and rocks him while he sleeps, too.

This book has found a way to always bring a tear to my eye.  It speaks straight to my heart about the beauty of parenthood and the continuous circle of life and love. As we go through the tough stages in raising our children, it makes me remember that this stage will not last forever.  

Even though my girls can drive me crazy at times, my love for them is unconditional.  I’m so happy I still have the opportunity to hold them in my lap and soothe them when their hurt.  I’m thankful that at this moment in their life, I am their whole world.  I am in charge of making their days happy and healthy and that right now I am enough.

I know there will come a day when my little girls will grow up and I will no longer be their whole world.  So for today, I’m going to cherish this precious time I have with them and expand my capacity for silliness and learn new ways to play with them.  I’m going to keep my promises and let them know that they are my greatest treasures.  I’m going to be generous with my hugs and kisses and treasure this gift of motherhood to its fullest capacity. 

Here is a beautiful prayer that I came across that reminds me that God's Love is present in helping me on this motherhood journey.

"Lord, you know my inadequacies.  You know my weaknesses, not only in parenting, but in every area of my life.  I'm doing the best I can to raise my kids properly, but is may not be good enough.  as you provided the fish and the loaves to feed the five thousand hungry people, now take my meager effort and use it to bless my family.  Make up for the things I do wrong.  Satisfy the needs that I have not met.  Compensate for my blunders and mistakes.  Wrap your great arms around my children, and draw them close to you.  And be there when they stand at the great crossroads between right and wrong.  All I can give them is my best, and I will continue to do that.  I submit them to you now and rededicate myself to the task you have placed before me.  The outcome rests securely in your hands."

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13

"A mother's love" by Helen Steiner Rice

A Mother’s love is something

that no one can explain.
It's made of deep devotion
and of sacrifice and pain.
It is endless and unselfish
and enduring come what may
For nothing can destroy it
or take that love away...
It is patient and forgiving
when all others are forsaking,
And it never fails or falters
even though the heart is breaking...
It believes beyond believing
when the world around condemns,
And it glows with all the beauty

of the rarest, brightest gems...
It is far beyond defining,
it defies all explanation,
And it still remains a secret
like the mysteries of creation...
A many splendor miracle
man cannot understand
And another wondrous evidence
of God's tender guiding hand.