Strong Willed

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:11)

As a mother, one of my greatest worries in bringing up my girls is the constant concern I have of trying to discipline them without hurting their spirit.  For those of you who know Kinley, I’ve always labeled her personality as “strong willed.” Well, most of us would label our children in that category right? OK, maybe just a few of us…  I was listening to one of my favorite child psychologist Dr. Ray Guarendi. He is a father of 10, clinical psychologist, author, and public speaker and radio host. He really set a few things straight in my uneasiness when it comes to disciplining my sweet KinleyJ

First he said, we need to keep in mind that we are all sinful in nature because of original sin. This nature creates an automatic bent will that leads to rebelliousness. In other words, it’s a natural battle we will have with our children.  I don’t know about you, but that in itself gives me great comfort!  There are obviously deeper areas involved in shaping the hearts of our children but, it’s reassuring to know there is a way to direct the behavior of my child without feeling the guilt of hurting her spirit.

The ultimate message I a came away with was that it’s not the discipline that breaks the child’s spirit, it's the arguing, nagging, yelling, screaming, negotiating, and frustration that ultimately puts stress on the relationship. If I’m responding with discipline without the nastiness, I’m on the first steps in creating a loving environment for healthy growth in my child.  If I make my discipline strong and firm without all the clutter I can be a better more effective mother. Wow, what a great nugget of information I can add to my parenting plan!

There is also a wonderful book that I reference back to for direction in this area called, "Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp." This book is written for parents with children of any age and there are amazing procedures that are given on how to shepherd the heart of our children from a biblical perspective.  It’s GREAT! 

I am pretty far from the parent I strive to be, but little by little I’m learning that I’m not always going to get it right the first time around. Mothering is definitely an art that takes lots and lots of practice and patience... Eventually I might get it right a few times along the wayJ